Friday, October 29, 2010

It's been ages

I haven't blogged in a really long time. A lot of what's been going on has been painful and messy. But even in that mess, there has been enormous growth. God has been faithful and been good. As he always is. But there's a lot of hurt and confusion to work through. It's lonely. It's exhausting. It's alienating.

I don't know how to communicate that without people thinking it's about them or that they have to fix me. Or my bigger fear, that they will think my 'stuff' too hard to deal with and withdraw from me. Been there, done that. It hurts bad.

So, yeah, right now, my answer is I. Don't. Know. That's not all bad. It's honest. I can live with honest. If others around me can't, it's not my issue. I have to remember that. Keep reminding myself.

1 comment:

naznewsgirl said...

Hey, you... I just want you to know that I know I can't "fix" you, and that I honestly don't think any of your "mess" is any bigger or worse than my own, so you don't have to be afraid that it will make me run. I just want you to know that I love you, as you are, who you are, and I feel so incredibly blessed to have you in my life. I am here. Whenever. For whatever. Never forget.